My daughter turned 12 this year. That's all I'm going to say about this.
I find myself at a very odd point in my life. I don't know if any of you can relate... I was born in '76... do the math... I've been having this whats-it-all-about dialog in my head and it's starting to bother me.
I am happy with my life, even though its nothing like I thought it would be. I know I'm not alone in having that thought. But what troubles me is that I've always been honest with my daughter. And, at the same time, I haven't. You've noticed I haven't been around much here. I do enjoy my time here, and I'm not going anywhere. But I need to figure out how to arrange my brain so that it doesn't feel sneaky when I come here. I don't like that feeling. There is no way I can tell her about the Forum. I won't tell my son, that's for sure, so why would I tell her. It's none of her business. And yet.... it feels sneaky. I'm being too mom-ish maybe.
I'm open to suggestions... I really am. Sorry to throw this depthy issue in here but it affects the way I relate to this forum. I hope you understand!
I think it’s fine for parents to keep aspects of their lives to themselves. In my opinion, there’s plenty of things that kids don’t need to know about, particularly when they’re still quite young. By the time I was your daughter’s age, I’m sure I realised that there was stuff that my parents didn’t discuss with me, and I never thought that this meant they weren’t being honest with me. The relationship changes as children grow into adults, but I think there’s still things parents are entitled to keep private without feeling that they’re being sneaky.
Hope this is of some help, but I probably should mention that I’m not a parent, so I don’t have any first-hand experience to draw on.
Post by Crossdresser on Apr 8, 2018 18:08:55 GMT -5
I haven't been around here much lately because I am working on a crash project. The other thing is that I have been coming around to this and the predecessor boards now for 20 years. In that period of time, society's attitudes to the subject of this board have changed as well. Somehow it does not seem as kinky as much as it used to.
I think Kayo's question is part of a very common question among people who are into any form of kink. Lord knows I have a big kink. Harmless to everybody else. Harmful to my wallet. Beneficial to the clothing industry. Over the years, I have read countless discussions about how to manage kink in a home with children, and I found lots of different answers to the question.
When I first got the urge to dress, I was afraid to tell anyone about it for fear they would put me in the Creedmoor looney bin. Over the years, I took extraordinary steps to protect my privacy. Along the way, I lost any shame for my kink. My dick drives me out of my mind if I don't dress once in a while. I find our subject arousing as well.
I think adults have a right without feeling sneaky to keep part of their lives private. Certainly before their children reach 18 or thereabouts. Maybe even after that. Teenagers may suspect one or both of their parents are not telling them something. If teenagers bring up the subject, they should told that there are a few things parents want to keep private.
Also, the newest member, escortspattaya, posted a website link in the profile here to their website. Now that Backpage got shut down, we can expect to see some "alt-routed traffic". That member can be deleted.
I know I haven't been here much either Kayo, you can blame my crazy job for that. I'll weigh in with my $0.02 though for what it's worth.
First, you're well within your right to keep this from your daughter, (at least for now, more on that in a moment,) and to not feel sneaky while doing so. It's your personal business and not something that she should necessarily know about yet based on the tidbit of information provided above. Having said that, as she gets older, especially as puberty sets in, and should you notice her acting in a similar way as you did when first coping with periods, it may eventually be wise to revist this idea and maybe tell her about this site when she's old enough to handle it. When that is could be once she's an actual adult, but it could also be if you find her snooping through your computer/phone one day and asking you about it. She definitely shouldn't know yet though, and you shouldn't feel guilty about hiding it from her, but there could come a time when whether or not to tell her about this place is worth revisiting. I know if one of my loved ones ran a place like this, I'd want to have been informed after I'd turned 18 if for no other reason than to not wind up discovering it after they eventually pass and then having to inform a bunch of people I never knew about on a site I never knew existed about what had happened. This is just me though, and in four years who knows how you'll feel or what things will be like, make of that what you will.
Hey thanks all for the wisdom... I am not going to tell her for now. Maybe never... I can't think of a single scenario where she and I are better off if I tell her. And I guess this is the part of it that bothers me. I don't need validation from my adult friends, they do what they want and I do what I want. I just can't shake this feeling. I guess I'll live!
So... About a month ago, I had myself a nice glass (ok 3) of wine, and told Susu about this forum. I did not go into detail, and I kept it strictly at a level she could deal with. And she was okay with it, that's the short story version. Cath sat quietly and didn't say much, and afterward she said she thought it was the right thing to do. I still have mixed feelings but I could not go on hiding this part of my life from my daughter, and whatever the consequences, I had to do it. She is not the least bit interested in seeing this forum (I did not give her the URL but she's not stupid, she could find it if she wanted to, and if that's the case, it's on her... not me).
So that's one bit of news.... for what it's worth, lol.
The other thing is more "on topic", and the reason I logged on after all this time. Two weeks ago my friend Dooby got married. (yeah that's not her real name, try to keep up). She's been living with the guy for three years so it's about time, I say. But it was a nice wedding, excellent party afterward, her brother is a professional DJ and he did a great job. I was exhausted and my feet were killing me but we had a great time. Seating was wherever you wanted - very informal steak house, buffet style, all good. I kept noticing the couple across from me, they were maybe in their late 30's. The woman (Julia. I found out later) was very nicely dressed, but the guy looked kind of scruffy - you know, he just needed a little TLC. Work pants, polo shirt, sport jacket, messy hair. He hardly said a word but they danced a lot and seemed to be very cozy and having a good time. I went to the bathroom and while I was washing up Julia came in... followed by the guy... I was like, what the heck??? And they went in separate stalls... and they're chatting away and I realized OMG it's a gay couple. Ok, I mean, I'm really really good at spotting them. REALLY good. I guess I was sort of.. stunned. And they went on talking about periods, which apparently was the reason they were both there! I was so tempted to hang around and hear the end of the story. So I went back to the table, and said to Cath, you'll never guess who I met in the bathroom, and nodded over to where they had been sitting. And Cath says, oh the gay girls? And I was like, what is this, the gay table? Why didn't you tell me, and she says "I thought you knew". I need glasses, for sure. I told her they were discussing their periods in the bathroom and Cath wondered why I hadn't jumped over the stall to join in. Beetch. But I have to say, the mental picture of that, um... person... changing a tampon is hard to get out of my head. Yeah I know, where's the tolerance... haha. I can't help it.
Okay so there's one last part, I heard from Dooby last night, and thanked her for the party, blah blah, and I told her about Julia and she was like "whaaaaaatt". She had no idea, lol. She's worked with this woman for like, 5 years... lol. She was like, are you SURE?? Are you SURE?? and I told her about the period chatter and I think she spit up her coffee or whatever on the phone, lol. Anyhow, its all cool. But I mean, in that entire room of couples... why the gay table... really. I should complain, somewhere, all this time doing my damndest to fit in, and we get the gay table... haha. Okay, I'm over it, but it was funnny.
Post by Crossdresser on Nov 17, 2018 1:59:54 GMT -5
I don't know if and/or when you will ever find this forum, or even if you want to. But when I was your age, I already had the skills to find something like this. We didn't have the Internet then, but there were books and magazines. The people who write things here are, for the most part, normal everyday people. They are not crazy or bad people.
At your age, you are just beginning the second half of your life - the world of grown-ups. It will take until about your 18th birthday to understand it all.
Your mommy did not want to keep this a secret from you. The interesting thing about this forum is that it was the first place in history where grown-ups could discuss certain private feelings and not be ashamed about it. In the last 20 years or so, society's attitudes toward this subject have changed. There are now many other places on the Internet where this subject is discussed.
You should be proud of your mommies. They love each other very much and want to share that love with you and your brother.
Post by Crossdresser on Nov 17, 2018 2:02:46 GMT -5
This story illustrates that we make a lot of assumptions about people based on their gender cues.
About Julia's partner, do you know if she has an affinity for the masculine, or is she dressing up "en homme" to blend in better with a mainstream event? Is "he" just plain trans? While not an expert on the subject, I am aware of drag kings, and issues discussed in the Wikipedia article on Butch and Femme: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Butch_and_femme
Certainly, the visible appearance of breasts is a important clue (disregarding crossdressing scenarios). If Julia's partner bound her breasts, you were mislead.
There used to be a phrase going around called "gender fuck", used when discussing a person giving off gender cues the opposite of their real gender identity.
The other question I have is, how many people were seated at each table? Since there was no assigned seating, I wouldn't blame myself if I somehow didn't notice the boobs.
I'm late to the party on this one. My daughter will be 21 this summer. I've been coming here since before I was pregnant with her. She know about this place and knew about B's. Not sure she knew what it was but before the big hack, I was living in the Bay area and they were going to give me a for real job as a receptionist. Then there was the hack and that never happened.
I was always open with her about sex and periods. But there was one thing I would never do. And that was to discuss *her* periods with others here. That just seemed off limits to me.
Thank you Crossdresser! There were 8 of us at the table, with room for 4 more. So we did kind of spread out between couples. We really did have a good time. I don't know much about "Julia" and for me, whatever is going on in their lives is their own thing.... I just found it odd that if her partner is presenting herself as male... if that was her intent, I'm not even sure... but if she was, why on earth would she go into the women's room?? Anyhow, for me, I am what I am. I learned way back in school that life is a lot easier if you pick your battles carefully. Would I prefer a world where gender isn't such a flashpoint? Absolutely. On the other hand, it's nice to know that in more and more places, no one cares.